I use to think that being married defined who I was. I have to admit that being a wife and having a husband felt good. I felt good when I talked about my husband this and my husband that. Even though it was not a good marriage, I still took pleasure in the fact that I was married.
Then the marriage completely fell apart and I didn’t know who I was anymore. Being married was such a huge part of who I thought I was and when that was gone I felt lost. Going through the divorce turned me inside out. I guess you could say I went through a transformation. It took every ounce of energy I had to keep it all together. For my kids sake I had to persevere. Five years has past since the divorce and were just starting to get better.
Just when I thought I knew who I was and nothing was ever going to define me, I lost my job. Here I am divorced with two kids and no job.
It did not realize that having a career was part of my identity, until one day I was having a conversation with a complete stranger in the grocery store. He told me about himself then asked, “what do you do?” The only thing that came to my mind to say was, “oh I live in this area to”.
After that day I started thinking what should I tell people. Should I say I’m out of work, a stay home mom, or in between jobs. This was starting to weigh on me even more so than the fact that I didn’t know how I was going to pay my bills. I feel like not having a job makes me less of a person almost helpless.
Defining moments, what defines you?